So as I prep for this eating disorder awareness program for next week, it has me thinking a lot about my past and where I’ve come from, and of course how far I’ve come. I’m supposed to tell my story at this event, which I definitely don’t oppose to since I think seeing others who are recovering is a great example to set and shows that there is hope. It’s just crazy looking back and seeing how much time I’ve wasted counting meaningless calories and stressing over the amount I can pinch around my waist. I’m not saying I don’t do to this day, because sometimes I find myself falling in that track again. When I’m nervous I always find myself pinching my waist, or if I’m out to dinner I can most likely guesstimate how much calories I’m eating and be nearly spot on. But I know the relapse symptoms, and I think that’s the best part about recovery—you learn. and although you may not be “cured” per say, you find a way to cope and live happily. I’m not afraid to eat anymore but there are certain things I know I am afraid of, such as drinking liquid calories. It sounds silly but it’s something I just can’t seem to shake.
Buttt on another note, I did manage to get my gym session in today & am preparing for a full day’s worth of work. Hospital for long term care today and then I have Health AWAREness training from 5-8pm, so I can’t forget to pack my dinner! They’re serving Turkey Chili but I am doing my best to stick with my prep diet so I can place in my shows. Prepping and bringing food can be tough because…FREE FOOD??? who wants to pass that up?? But when you have goals, and currently I do in regards to training/eating, you have to make exceptions.
Just two more months and I can eat that Cinnabon Cinnastack Pancake from IHop Can’t come soon enough!!